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What is Attachment Parenting and Why Should I Bother?
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Attachment Parenting: Is It For You?
Is it possible to breastfeed your baby without practicing the art
of attachment parenting? Sure, but once that tiny mouth makes contact,
you may not want to. Attachment parenting (AP) encourages and honors
the special bond between parent and child. What is AP, and why
should parents follow its guidelines?
Attachment parenting is a concept
that is often controversial, but it shouldn't be. The basic premise
is that
you can't "spoil" a
baby by holding him too much, carrying him, feeding him on demand,
or with any other form of contact. Babies ask for what they need,
not just what they want; at this stage, a baby's wants and needs
are one and the same. It's true that a baby who is denied attention
when he cries will cry less often -- but what is he really learning?
He is not learning to "behave"; he is learning that he
can't count on having his needs met when he asks. Attachment parenting
builds trust. Here are some basic guidelines for beginning as an
attached parent...
What is Attachment Parenting?
As a philosophy of parenting, attachment parenting almost begs
off having a name by its very definition. Also known as “instinctive
parenting,” “intuitive parenting” and “natural
parenting,” AP is fundamentally a relationship rather
than a strategy, an act rather than a style.
“When I first began using the term ‘attachment parenting’ nearly
20 years ago, I felt ridiculous giving a name to a style of baby
care that parents would naturally practice if they followed their
own intuition rather than listening to the advice of others,” says
William Sears, M.D., the internationally known pediatrician who
originally coined the term “attachment parenting.”
Attachment parenting is a holistic
style of parenting that emphasizes parent-child bonding. AP allows
children to move
through developmental
stages at a natural pace, unhurried by modern pressures for “early
independence” or separation from their parents and family.
More and more studies are showing that AP strategies maximize children’s
neurological and emotional development.
The Science of Attachment
The overwhelming theme of American parenting today is the fostering
of independence, featuring methods that encourage the separation
of parents and their children. Grandparents, pediatricians,
nurses and daycare providers all have volumes to speak on the
subject. Techniques such as sleep training, scheduled feedings
and "crying it out" all focus on easing the burden
on parents, integrating children into their parents' lives
and schedules. To family-centered parents, all this advice
can seem confusing and counter-intuitive.
The good news for "attached parents" is that there is
now hard science to back up more intuitive ways of parenting. Attachment
parenting (AP) is really nothing new. It's simply the art of responsive
parenting, advocating techniques such as co-sleeping, babywearing,
breastfeeding, bonding at birth and a belief in the language value
of babies' cries. In scientific circles, this is known as "dyadic
attunement." And while the majority of scientific literature
focuses on the mother-infant connection, as noted pediatrician
Dr. William Sears says, this attunement certainly extends to fathers
as well.
Long Term Attachment Parenting
Are AP groups and ideas a thing of the past now that your little ones are big
kids (or even – gasp! -- teenagers) and you’re no longer breastfeeding
and diapering? Are you an attachment parenting graduate (or drop-out)? Attachment
parenting is not just for babies – and you don’t
have to stop as your kids grow older!
Obviously, you only get one chance for bonding at birth. Breastfeeding
and baby wearing have their own eras, as well. Those days may be
gone, but those strategies represent fewer than half of the seven
keys of attachment parenting cited by internationally renowned
AP experts Dr. William and Martha Sears.
What
exactly is “attachment parenting” as
it applies to all ages, not just babies? My children are
moving beyond the breastfeeding, babywearing and family bed stage,
and I want to continue to be able to give them the kind of parenting
they need.... Jan Hunt responds: Attachment parenting, to put it
most simply, is believing what we know in our heart to be true.
And if we do
that, we find that we trust the child...
Read more attachment
parenting articles.
Read information on the benefits
of baby wearing.
